


True Love's First Kiss

by Mrs_frizzle



Category: New Politics
Genre: F/M, I'm so done, M/M, So please kill me, ahhhh, wtf is wrong with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-09 18:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10418349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_frizzle/pseuds/Mrs_frizzle
Summary: Trump has a secret. Well OK, he has a couple of them. What will people do when they realize he's not as straight as he claims to be?Update: I am going to finish this but I'm taking a temporary break because its the last month of classes for my college!UPDATE: Finals are done and I will try to post as often as I can! (I do have a job I work on the side tho so we shall see!)





	1. Help required

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I am bored AF.. hopefully y'all enjoy my sleep deprived and poorly written thingy ma bob.

It was election week. Trump was nervously biting his fingers as he noticed the ballots that were being chosen. “I got to make America great again!” He said as he anxiously watched the votes slowly raising in Hillary’s favor.

“I can’t take it anymore!” He nervously eyed his phone from across the table. Should I do this? He wondered. It wasn’t like he was actually going to loose, right? Sweat dripped down his forehead ruining his fake tan. Finally he gave in, dialing a number he knew all too well. Come on come come on. He chanted in his head. There was a click on the other line and a man with a deep Russian accent replied,

“Hello Mr. Trump, how can I be of service?” Donald blushed a deep crimson, making his fake tan look ridiculous. “Hello Pudding.” He responded coyly. “I need to ask for another favor.” “Of course.” Responded the Russian man. “Anything for you sir...” He paused briefly, “and my name isn’t ‘pudding’ sir. It’s Putin.”

Donald blushed even harder. Damn he almost found out my darkest secret. Trump took the locket from under his boxer briefs, a safe place for him. Opening it he gazed into the eyes of his true love. A single tear flowed down his face. Gathering himself back up, trying to sound indifferent, he said, “Of course, damn autocorrect.”

Putin remained silent, realizing for the first time just how stupid this man was. “Of course,” he replied sarcastically. “What may I do to be of service to you sir?”

“I need some assistance on this election.” He whispered quietly. “You see, the libtards elected that crooked Hillary. Those emails were a big deal.”

Putin rolled his eyes, glad Trump couldn’t see him through the phone. “You need me to rig the election? Like I did with those emails?”

“Exactly!” cried Trump, salivating in potential victory. He pulled his locket close to his chest, remembering the words his beloved had told him.

“Gladly done sir,” Putin replied and hung up the phone with a click.

Donald eyed his locket, the photo of him and his true love. “Soon,” he whispered. He faced up towards the ceiling tears streaming down his face as he remember the erotic words of his true love. “This is my swamp, and it's never ogre.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idek anymore?


	2. I won?

He was triumphant! He beat Hillary by like a million percent. Totally tweeting this, he thought smugly. After about five tweets a thought struck him. What does a president do? He knew he had to make America great again and crooked Hillary couldn't do that, but how exactly does one make America great again? He probably should have thought this out, dammit. 

He glanced nervously at his locket, stroking a tiny finger over the picture. The picture of the green man put him into a trance. God, he was breathtaking. Shrek was love, Shrek was life. Well until Melina came in that is. Shrek would always be his gay secret, a secret locked deep in the darkest closet on earth.

Donalds eyes began to haze over and he felt himself slowly drift into a peaceful slumber. He dreamt of a summer evening down at the swamp. Shrek was looking deeply into his eyes, a loving gaze embedded on his face. Trump twirled his ginger hair, nervous as he always was around this magnification creature. He looked away blushing. No one had ever looked at him that way before, not even his mom. She said he was a monster. Tears sprung into his eyes.

"I don't understand." He whispered. "I'm supposed to be beautiful.." Shrek sighed turning his head in disbelief.

"But you are beautiful." 

That's when it happened, true loves first kiss.

And he took loves true form.


	3. My Mexico

Donald woke to the smell of onions and grumbled out of bed. He wondered if Ivanka was experimenting with cooking again. He groaned at the thought of that. Oh well, he could always get Kushner to help her out like he helped out with all his other presidential problems. Speaking of Jared... Trump looked at his locket, the one the green man had got from the jewelry store Jared. He stared into his brown eyes, getting lost in the memories he and the ogre shared. 

"Donald, there is no 'us' there is no 'we'. There is just me and mah swamp. And once I get back I'm going to build a ten foot wall around it." Shrek turned his back to Trump, and Donald's eyes grew hazy with tears. "You cut me deep just now Shrek, you cut me real deep." He turned away from Shrek, wondering where this all came from. They had been going steady for awhile now, well, until this Fiona chick showed up. That was okay, because he had seen a picture of Melania online and he had been thinking of ordering an online bride for awhile now. He looked back at Shrek. "You know, I think this whole wall thing is just to keep someone out."  
"No... you think?" Shrek said sarcastically. This statement angered Donald. "Common Shrek who you trying to keep out!" He was ready to fight. "EVERYONE!" Shrek boomed! Donald's face fell, but he was not going to back down. "Oh! Now we getting somewhere." Shrek's eyes blazed, "Oh for the love of Pete! Its not me who has a problem with the world its the world who has a problem with me! People take one look at me and go, 'AH! RUN! HELP! A big, fat, stupid ugly ogre.'" Shrek's face fell, "They judge me before they know me. That's why I'm better off alone." He turned away from Donald, and let his words sink in. 

Donald couldn't believe it! How could he not see his own worth? "You know," Donald started, "When we met, I didn't think you were just a big fat ugly ogre." Shrek turned to face him slowly. "I know," He whispered. And they made out like teenagers. (I would go into the more, *ahem* explicit details, but frankly I don't think even I can stomach those.) That was the last he had seen Shrek, and ever since then, Donald was fascinated about building walls. Walls seemed to keep unwanted things out, and people loved it! They bought it like hotcakes! Little did they know that the wall was a metaphor for something much bigger, something much darker. But it had worked. Saying that he'd build a wall to keep out "Mexico" had fooled his blind followers. But, little did even Trump know that his "Mexico" would come back to get him. Maybe Ogres do live happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter! Finally done with finals! YAY! Thank god! I hope you enjoy this random addition!


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